Speeding up to Fast Lane might be an understatement, tonight matches are teased and feuds are being built tonight for Fast Lane which is this Sunday. Welcome to WWE running through stop signs of sanity as we cover…
RAW kicks off with Dean Ambrose calling out Brock Lesnar, because he is hungry to eat another F5. Instead, Stephanie McMahon makes her way out to taunt more dissention between Ambrose and Roman Reigns. She puts Ambrose in a title defense, against Dolph Ziggler, Stardust, Tyler Breeze, and Kevin Owens in a Fatal-Five Way match.
Everyone looked real good, great kickoff match. Well paced and a lot of great spots, mostly by Ambrose. The finish came when Ambrose set up Stardust for Dirty Deeds, and Ziggler spiked Ambrose simultaneously with the Zig Zag while the champ planted Stardust. Breeze dumped Ziggler from the ring but runs into an awaiting Owens and a Pop-Up Powerbomb into the pinfall victory. Kevin Owens finally regains the Intercontinental Championship.
Tyler Breeze looked like crap. Must have overslept and forgot to shave. Although, it could have been a nod to the Freebirds?
Backstage Ambrose is with Renee Young, ticked about losing, but happy that he now has nothing to lose and all to gain. Sigh, as much a we want Ambrose in the main event at WrestleMania, we all know it will not happen. Despite the amount of airtime WWE has been giving the Lunatic.
Kevin Owens then taunts Renee Young and demands she acknowledge something about him being right. Dolph Ziggler interrupts and demands a title bout for Fast Lane this Sunday. Owens leaves with a “nah.”
In the ring, The New Day continue to act hysterically, and their match… at… Fast Lane… Isn’t a match at all, but guests on the Edge and Christian Peep Show Talk Show Segment. Well, this ought to get entertaining. They then turn their attention to Mark Henry who ditched them last week. The World’s Strongest Man took on Big E. Langston in a pretty good one-on-one, until at some point, things go awry as Big E. lifted Henry up for the Big Ending, but Henry fell off clutching his midsection. Referee does a fast three count and it is pretty clear Henry is injured. Big E. looks worried, despite Xavier and Kofi doing their best to maintain appearances.
If Henry got legit injured, I think it might be time to call it a career. I love the guy. But I don’t want him going out on a low note. He deserves better.
The next segment features Byron Saxton interviewing Brie Bella in the ring, which gave us less than two minutes before Charlotte interrupted. Short story. Brie vs. Charlotte for Divas Title at Fast Lane. Charlotte bashed Brie and Daniel Bryan with not well worded jabs and cynical comments. Brie attempted to verbally retaliate, but words did not make sense, much awkward silence by all, until the fight broke out. Please make this stop.
I get Brie has to be super-over because of Bryan, but this segment was painful to watch. Charlotte needs her dad to talk more for her, because she just can’t do it. She could pull off the witty one-liners, but a whole segment? No. Brie was never a strong mic worker and sadly it showed again here.
Our next match, AJ Styles vs. The Miz is apparently sponsored by Geico because it will end in 15 minutes or less. We actually get a good match, Miz sells Styles’ hits like major money. Styles gets the win after a Calf Crusher submission. Post match, Chris Jericho, who was on commentary comes to the ring to sarcastically congratulate Styles. Instead, it is Styles who offers the third match, but Jericho takes a page from Kevin Owens, and declines the offer to a third match, stating he will decide on SmackDown. Watch more TV folks!
The Dudleys come to the ring, explaining they are not part of some nostalgia bid by WWE to get more subscribers or to cater to old school fans. They are the baddest team in the world and they are still here to keep that going. If we want to get nostalgic and watch them go table-crazy, then we can go watch the WWE Network because that will be the only place we will ever see table destroying again.
It was a good promo. Basically stating how they measure their greatness by title reigns and accomplishments in high-profile matches, and not by how many 3Ds got delivered through furniture. Heel-ish, yes, but it won’t change our love for them.
Summer Rae defeated Paige in an awkward match, leaving the crowd feeling very awkward when we realized Paige did not kick out and Summer was awarded the match. Something sloppy happened.
Rabbi Paul Heyman hits the ring, calling out Roman Reigns to deliver a message from Brock Lesnar. To sum this one, Heyman reminds Reigns he has a lot to lose if he does not make the sacrifice of friendship. Brock is his enemy, and on Sunday, so is Dean Ambrose. Reigns has to think about his future, and whether he will let his compassion for others prevent him from accomplishing his goal of being WWE Champion again. Reigns actually thanks Heyman, shaking his hand. After Heyman leaves, The Dudley Boys attack Reigns, who is then saved by Ambrose. Suddenly, Ambrose teases hitting Dirty Deeds on Reings, which sends everyone into a shocked frenzy. It seems to have been a joke, but Reigns isn’t laughing anymore. Good segment. Really good.
Michael Cole announces that next week, the first-ever “Vincent J. McMahon Legacy Award” will be presented and will be considered the most prestigious award in WWE history. Okay… Real thing or another macguffin to further a storyline?
It’s only 10:15, I feel like I have already been through three hours, what more can WWE throw at us tonight? How about Zack Ryder vs. Heath Slater. The commentators actually remind us Ryder was a United States Champion. Huh. If anything Ryder should be submitting his application to join the stable. Slater wins it via Impaler DDT.
In an extremely disturbing segment, Goldust interrupted a romantic evening between R-Truth and his “girlfriend” by making references to the Attitude Era and the old In Your House pay-per-views. It gets frighteningly predictable when he has trouble with the champaige bottle, and Goldust popped his cork all over Truth’s girl. This segment? Check please.
Next up, Neville teams with The Lucha Dragons to take on Sheamus, Rusev, and Alberto del Rio, of The League of Nations. Yes, this leaves Wade Barrett still on the outside, which means he is likely still recovering from injury. Decent match, with numerous botches from Sin Cara, as expected. Thankfully, Del Rio compensates and sells everything like a champ. I feel bad for Del Rio. He came in, ripped the U.S. Championship away from John Cena, and then gets saddled with crap gimmicks. Hopefully the paycheck makes up for the lost dignity. The League wins after Del Rio crushes Sin Cara with his double stomp, in a spot which made no sense whatsoever as Sin Cara was holding onto the damn ropes waiting for him.
Nice tribute to Booker T for Black History Month.
Backstage, Alberto del Rio says the U.S. Title match at Fast Lane will be a Best-Two-Out-of-Three-Falls match. Yes, I will be watching the pre-show.
Up next, Becky Lynch vs. Naomi. Short match with Lynch getting the win via submission. Nice spots by Lynch with a pump-handle Suplex. Naomi did this weird multiple kick thing, after the first three it looked more like she was doing hopping exercises. Tamina and Naomi beat up Becky post match until Sasha Banks comes out for the save.
It is time for the main event, how about, The Wyatt Family! Big Show takes on Braun Strowman. Throughout the night we got clips of the family beating down “the big men” of WWE. Ryback, Henry, Kane, etc… Tonight, it is The Big Show. Short match, as the rest of the family inevitable interfere, causing the DQ finish. Before things get ugly, Ryback and Kane make the save, driving off Bray and his followers. Odd way to end the show.