Here’s how the Golden Globes begin:
Ricky Gervais walks on stage, a glass waiting for him, and says the following:
“Shush. Shut up. You disgusting pill popping sexual deviant scum. I want to do this monologue and then go into hiding. Not even Sean Penn will find me.”
Hahaha. So hilarious. I’ll break down the awards soon enough, but I need to let off some steam about this year’s host. I complain every year about how much of a disaster the Golden Globes are. To be honest, they weren’t that bad this year, and I actually got some good chuckles for once, just not from Ricky Gervais. Gervais really reached the breaking point for me. Smug. Obnoxious. Cackling like a hyena. Laughing at his own jokes. Gervais thinks he’s the smartest person on planet Earth. Wow, joking about Bill Cosby and the Hollywood Foreign Press. What a mastermind. Pure brilliance. Was he even that funny? Maybe everyone loved him, I don’t know. Every time he came on stage, it got progressively more pathetic. He was so hell bent on being offensive and edgy, the man became a parody of himself.
I know seeing all these beautiful rich people glorified for 3+ hours can be off putting at times, but they do work really hard at their craft. Ridiculously hard. Award shows are supposed to be about the accomplishments of film and television. Ricky Gervais makes it about himself. He only cares about dumping on everything. I’m not saying celebrities can’t be ripped into, but do it with class! Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. They were classy. Andy Samberg took a few shots, but he was classy.
What really set me off though was the whole Mel Gibson fiasco. Granted, probably not the best idea to put him on stage, but now all everybody cares about is what was bleeped out. That’s the big story! It’s not about Inarritu’s fantastic speech, or the accomplishments of all the great films and performances this year. It’s about the Jerry Springer of it all. It’s detestable. It took away from Mad Max: Fury Road, a great achievement that probably wasn’t going to win, so this was its big opportunity to be showcased, but instead it gets completely overshadowed.
Luckily, this is just the Golden Globes, and the Oscars never devolve into this type of garbage. I know a lot of you like this style of Award hosting. I’m over it. Enough is enough. Now onto the awards:
P.S. To give credit where credit is due – the Schindler’s List/Pixels joke was pretty funny.
Quick Hits on the Ceremony:
Like I said, this wasn’t a disaster, but what was up with the production, NBC? The camera seemed to cut away at all the wrong times. And what was with that little side entrance for the winners? Everybody seemed confused by that. Did they need a garmin? Also, I’m a big Jaimie Alexander fan, but she could have handled that better.
The bleeps in general were a little ridiculous. I thought my TV was on the fritz.
Amy Schumer/Jennifer Lawrence Presenting:
This could have been a lot worse, but they simply weren’t funny. Cue social media wanting them to host next year in 3..2..1…
Helen Mirren/Gerard Butler Presenting:
Who thought this pairing was a good idea? Awkward.
Jonah Hill as the Bear
When this started, it had disaster written all over it, but Jonah Hill made it work.
Maybe I’m biased because I’m such a big fan of the guy, but I found his bit with Brad Pitt hilarious.
Aziz Ansari and the “Losing to Jeffrey Tambor With Dignity” Book Prop
That was awesome! Aziz Ansari is the man. I wish Tambor won, which would have made that joke even better.
This man doesn’t get the respect he deserves. He’s always a guaranteed laugh. I still hold out hope there’s an Oscar waiting in his future. Carrey is a comedic genius who puts all these guys to shame.
Oscar Isaac Won an Award
Kind of an awkward speech, but what a stirring highlight reel. Phenomenal career.
The Bastion of Class Award
Amy Adams and Matt Damon
THE AWARDS (Film)
Best Supporting Actress (Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs)
This wasn’t a very stacked category, and an easy win for Winstlet, despite her own shock value. With Rooney Mara getting a SAG nomination in the Supporting category, this will be a much tighter race between the two come Oscar time.
Best Supporting Actor (Sylvester Stallone, Creed)
Easily the best moment of the night. The win. The Rocky music. The standing ovation. Incredible. I’m still scared to death he won’t get an Oscar nod. I wouldn’t put much stock in this win, as it was very Golden Globe-ish. Nevertheless, very deserving. A great moment for Stallone.
Best Actress – Comedy or Musical (Jennifer Lawrence, Joy)
This win legitimately shocked me. I thought there was no way in hell Amy Schumer was going to lose this award. This felt like the ultimate Golden Globes slam dunk, as she is America’s darling.
I’m glad Lawrence won though. Joy is a very good movie, and Lawrence gives another outstanding performance. This is already three Globes for her. I know many are sick of J-Law. There’s definitely a segment of people who want her to go away, but you know what – she deserves all the accolades. Jennifer Lawrence is a great actress. Get over it. If she deserves to win twenty times in a row, then she should get the award twenty times in a row.
Best Actor – Comedy or Musical (Matt Damon, The Martian)
Great win. It’s looking more and more like Damon will score the Oscar nod.
Best Actress – Drama (Brie Larson, Room)
Larson was probably the most deserving winner of the night. Her performance in Room is that good. I’m not ready to call it a lock yet for the Oscar, but it’s trending in that direction.
Best Actor – Drama (Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant)
A preview of things to come. It’s happening. Get ready.
Best Screenplay (Aaron Sorkin, Steve Jobs)
Sorkin wrote a great script, but how is this not Spotlight’s award? This felt like a Sorkin win because he’s more celebrity than the Spotlight guys (Josh Singer/Tom McCarthy). With Steve Jobs and Spotlight being in different Writing categories, they both could win come Oscar time.
Best Director (Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, The Revenant)
I thought we were setting up for a Ridley Scott win, but Inarritu is simply on fire right now. Well deserving, and he’ll be the clear front runner come Oscar time.
Best Animated Feature (Inside Out)
I’m sure you all think Inside Out winning Best Animated Feature at the Oscars this year is the biggest lock in the history of the Oscars, but I would hold your horses. More to come on that later.
Best Motion Picture Comedy or Musical (The Martian)
I know the long running joke of the night was The Martian being in the Comedy category, but I can actually see where the Hollywood Foreign Press is coming from on this. Regardless, this was an easy win, and The Martian has to be looked as a serious Best Picture contender.
Best Motion Picture Drama (The Revenant)
Very happy for The Revenant, it’s a fantastic movie. Now with its box office success, and this win, the momentum will be hard to stop. Inarritu is an Awards magnet.
Daniel Cohen is the Film Editor for Pop-Break. Aside from reviews, Daniel does a weekly box office predictions column, and also contributes monthly Top Tens and Op-Ed’s on all things film. Daniel is a graduate of Bates College with a degree in English, and also studied Screenwriting at UCLA. He can also be read on www.movieshenanigans.com. His movie crush is Jessica Rabbit. Follow him on Twitter @dcohenwriter.